Shotgun Wedding (Jason Moore, 2022)

Darcy (Jennifer Lopez) and Tom (Josh Duhamel) have organised a destination wedding for their families at a resort in the Philippines.

As the couple begins to have doubts about their nuptials, the resort is raided by a group of masked men with guns.

As the only guests who are not captured, it falls to the couple to defeat the bad guys and save their families - they just have to work out if they actually want to be together any more.

No pressure then…

I try to avoid trailers, but I caught this one on social media and it sucked me in.

Jennifer Lopez has a spotty record with romcoms, but this movie feels like a half-step in the right direction.

At first, the movie feels like old Lopez - she is trying to play a meek, ordinary person who is slightly overwhelmed by the chaos around her. 

Once she has to get into action, Lopez is on surer footing - calling Duhamel out for his ridiculous ideas, getting them out of trouble, and improvising weapons. 

The movie is based on the familiar dynamic of the accidental action hero, and Lopez is great.

One wishes the movie around her were a bit better. 

Some things are out of the filmmakers’ control - the movie was made in 2021, so suffers from that slightly contained quality (lack of extras, some green-screen backdrops and high key lighting that makes everything look like a sitcom). To its credit, some of the exterior footage looks like it was shot on location, and both stars get suitably scuffed up as the movie progresses.

As her beau, Josh Duhamel is serviceable, although the character and performance are so rote, I kept wondering what Channing Tatum - who was great in last year’s superior action comedy The Lost City - would have done with the role.

The rest of the cast are fine. Jennifer Coolidge is dependably scattered as Lopez’s future mother in law - she does not get a lot to do, but she does fire a machine gun at the end, which is something.

Lenny Kravitz is fun casting as Duhamel’s rival, but he is less convincing as the film’s villain.

As an action comedy, Shotgun Wedding is a great high concept, but the execution is a little underwhelming.

The movie fumbles some familiar elements, starting with their own dynamic as a couple.

The couple’s conflict comes down to a lack of communication but this is communicated in a single scene right before the villains attack the hotel. 

As their argument progresses, the couple expose so many fault lines that I was wondering why they were together. It feels like the screenwriters are forcing the characters apart for the purpose of tension for the rest of the movie. 

There is nothing wrong with showing a couple’s flaws, but the way this movie forces out that conflict feels contrived. Maybe if the couple had better chemistry, or the earlier scenes had been able to seed those cracks with economy, it would work.

I am a fan of cutting to the bone, and getting a movie started as quickly as possible, but for this movie, and this relationship, I needed a little more meat. 

Once the action gets going, and our couple are falling apart, the movie picks up a bit. 

Our heroes are cuffed together for most of the film, and the script throws in some decent obstacles for gags, such as Lopez having to hold a live grenade (while they are chased by the pirates). 

While this section is watchable, I wish the relationship was more defined - there is a lot of exposition about what their relationship is like instead of showing the viewer through their dynamic and interactions.

Duhamel is never bad, but he is never that essential either. It might be down to Lopez’s charisma, but when her character hacks her dress down and grabs a shotgun, I wished this movie had centred around her as a solo action hero.

While intended for theatres, Shotgun Wedding feels better suited for streaming - it is not that funny, nor that action-packed, but it is just above watchable. 

Day of the Dolphin (Mike Nichols, 1973)

 Dr Jake Terrell (George C. Scott) has been working with dolphins Alpha and Beta.

After years of training and observation, Alpha begins to speak rudimentary English.

Jake’s work with Alpha draws attention from a secret cabal who kidnap both dolphins.

While Jake tries to figure out where Alpha and Beta are, the villains are training the dolphins for a new and terrifying mission…

This movie is being reviewed because of its poster - namely the juxtaposition of George C. Scott’s scowl and the tagline in giant, un-ironic font: UNWITTINGLY, HE TRAINED A DOLPHIN TO KILL THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

My local arthouse theatre was hosting a screening so I was going to review it on the big screen. Other events intervened and I missed it, so this review will be the result of me watching it in my empty kitchen on a laptop screen.

Combining two key themes of the seventies - government corruption and animal rights -  Day of the Dolphin should be right up my alley (it is Day of the Jackal with Flipper!), but it fell short of its glorious tagline. 

Written by Buck Henry and directed by Mike Nichols (the team behind The Graduate), The Day of the Dolphin has a great pedigree, but this movie is the wrong project for their particular talents. Apparently the result of contractual obligation, Mike Nichols directs the film with little specificity.

The film is in a weird middle way - is it a story about the relationship between Jake and Alpha? A spy thriller? An action adventure?

There is no sense of momentum to the story-telling, and frustratingly, there is a lot of story conveyed through dialogue.

A prime example is how Jake’s team figures out where the bad guys are - Curtis Mahoney (Paul Sorvino) wakes up on top of a map, looks at said map and has an eureka moment. It is so underwhelming.

The filmmakers cannot even make a meal from the attempted assassination, as Alpha chases after Beta to stop her from approaching the president’s boat. We just get slack cross-cutting between footage of swimming dolphins, which is so vague in composition and editing that it looks like a b-roll from a nature documentary. 

And despite the pedigree of its writer and director, the film is almost completely bereft of humour.

There are a few positives:

As the main star, Scott lends his role and subject a certain gravitas, although he seems to be on autopilot. 

Georges Delerue provides the lyrical, melancholic score - I wish there was more of it, because this movie lacks energy and it provides a modicum of interest.

The ending is kind of affecting - after telling him he can never see him again, Jake sadly walks away from the shore while Alpha tries to call to him. 

But those elements are relatively minor - The Day of the Dolphin is sadly a snooze.

Ice Station Zebra (John Sturges, 1968)

 Cdr. James Ferraday (Rock Hudson) and his submarine have been given a secret mission: travel to the Arctic weather station Zebra and drop off a secret operative known as Jones (Patrick McGoohan) and a squad of marines.

While suspicious of the mission and his new passengers, Ferraday gets his job done.

At the ruins of the station, Ferraday learns that he and his crew are now in a race against time as Jones’s team searches for a piece of tech which could decide the balance of international power…

I first heard about Alistair Maclean after watching the movie version of Guns of Navarone on TV. This led me to his books - I only read a couple of his books, but they were fun.

Together these vague feelings of goodwill pointed me toward this movie.

While it is not set during World War 2, the film is structured like a squad-on-a-mission movie.

In that respect, the most unique element is that it is about avoiding conflict.

So many of these movies spend their runtimes with a long set up and a final explosive catharsis. 

It might be because of the lack of this catharsis that I found Ice Station Zebra a little underwhelming.

Paranoia runs through the film, as the objective of the mission is obscured and the crew begins to question the identities of their guests.

The first problem is that the movie is over two-and-a-half-hours long which dilutes these elements.

The film is a slow burn, from the journey to the Arctic, and then the search of the station.

The tension builds effectively during these scenes, as Ferraday, Jones and company search for the satellite camera while a Soviet search party draws closer in the distance.

The exterior sequences are clearly shot on sound stages and while their artifice is obvious, only pedants would probably complain.

This may be the result of watching a lot of movies, but I found the film’s various twists (including Ferraday’s final gambit) telegraphed in such an obvious way that they work against any sense of stakes.

Rock Hudson is good as the veteran captain - he underplays and gives the character a sense of terse, wry humour. One wishes he had more opportunities as an action star.

Ernst Borgnine is his usual gregarious self, although hsi final reveal is not as effective as perhaps intended - his turncoat status is revealed to the audience early but the suspense of having a double agent in the ranks does not pay off.

Jim Brown, hot off The Dirty Dozen, is good as the taciturn Marine leader - his death is a shocking misdirect, but apart from that, he does not get a lot to do. 

The most interesting element of the film is Prisoner star McGoohan as the mysterious Mr Jones. He brings a simmering menace to a movie that is lacking in energy. 

As far as other highlights, Michel Legrand delivers a fine score that underplays the action in an interesting way.

Ice Station Zebra is not a great movie - the third act weighs against it - but it is fairly entertaining for a chunk of its runtime.

The best thing I can say about it is that it made me curious to check out other MacLean movies. Next month, I will be reviewing a couple of other Alistair MacLean adaptations in the near future, so watch out for those.

Looking back at Bruno the Kid: Hudson Hawk (Michael Lehmann, 1991)

In this season of The James Bond Cocktail Hour podcast, we are covering the six year gap between Licence to Kill and GoldenEye, covering everything James Bond-related, from books to comics to video games, to non-Bond properties which tried to fill the gap.

On the latest episode of the James Bond Cocktail Hour, we check out the self-styled Our Man Flint of the nineties, Hudson Hawk (1991)!

Check out the episode at the link below, and let us know what you think!

Links to this season's episodes:

No Time To Die (review)

No Time To Die (commentary)

Pierce Brosnan - The Bond In Waiting 

GoldenEye & Spymaker - The Secret Lives of Ian Fleming

Nikita

Total Recall

Fire, Ice and Dynamite & Bullseye!

The Russia House

BrokenClaw

Lethal Weapon & Die Hard

If Looks Could Kill

Hudson Hawk

Operation Fortune (Guy Ritchie, 2023)

Contract secret agent Orson Fortune (Jason Statham) is called in from leave for an urgent assignment.

He assembles a team (Aubrey Plaza, Bugzy Malone and Josh Hartnett) to infiltrate the inner circle of a mysterious arms dealer (Hugh Grant) who is trying to sell a weapon which could crash the world economy…

Guy Ritchie is a director I have never quite synced with. I have seen a couple of his movies, but I have never been able to finish the movies that made him: Lock Stock… , Snatch, Revolver…

His aesthetic choices and choice of subject matter just never appealed to me.

But he has been very productive in the last couple of years, and I have found myself reviewing his more recent films. After this one, I think I will go back and check his earlier stuff out.

Back to his latest venture:

As a movie, Operation Fortune is an average caper - the scheme is not that unique, the set pieces are not that inventive and the banter is not that sharp.

But that is not that important. This is a movie of small pleasures, in terms of the locations and the score, and the casting.

It is nice to see Cary Elwes back in a major supporting role. He has a fun dynamic with Statham, but he is relegated to being the guy on the other end of the phone.

Hugh Grant returns to the Guy Ritchie fold with another version of an English regional sleaze - this time a nouveau riche arms dealer with a heart of gold.

Josh Hartlett is great as a Hollywood heartthrob who is torn between terror at being press-ganged into covert operations and stretching his thespian talents by playing ‘himself’.

The most interesting part of the film to me was the relationship between Grant and Hartnett’s characters. They both want things from each other, and it makes for a weird and unique dynamic.

Aubrey Plaza is always added value, and she certainly adds something to this picture.

I am not sure that she fits this movie, but I also think she is one of the most interesting elements of it. This character is such a cliche - a tech genius who is also a top infiltration agent - but Plaza's deadpan approach simultaneously punctures the macho posturing of the movie around her and elevates the character.

Ritchie’s universe is built on a particular strain of machismo, action and humour, that always feels a little bit posturing. So having a performer like Plaza there pops the Ritchie balloon.

The script gives her some agency, and she seems to be playing dumb to make her teammates underestimate her, but I was a bit let down. Plaza deserves more than to be stuck behind a computer during the third act.

While the movie is a bit generic, it feels like the movie is missing connective tissue in the dynamics between the characters - while I liked Plaza’s wink at her colleagues’ dismissal of her talents, the movie does not set them up as particularly antagonistic. While I appreciate the speed with which the team comes together, the characterisation seems to rest on the actors’ established personas and the audience’s expectations of these characters and their team dynamics. 

The one character I was disappointed with was Statham as Fortune. There are some fun quirks - he is a snob who tries to make the government pay for his expensive tastes, and pretends these extravagances are therapy for his various phobias.

I love Statham but he feels a little bit too in his wheelhouse to give this character some shading - does he like his job? Any of his colleagues? He is cool and gets some cool moments, but there is something a little stock about the character and the performance.

Stylistically and visually, the film is not half-bad. There are some lovely locations, some good-looking photography.

I left the movie wishing it had a little more on its bones.

It is a little too familiar to be worth seeing on the big screen. Wait until it turns up on streaming. 

Related

The Man From UNCLE

Aladdin

The Gentlemen

Vice Squad (Gary Sherman, 1982)

LA sex worker Princess (Season Hubley) is trying to finance a move to San Diego for herself and her daughter.

Her plan is thrown into chaos when she is forced to help vice cop Tom Walsh (Gary Swanson) entrap pimp Ramrod (Wings Hauser), who previously murdered her friend.

While Princess goes back to work, Ramrod escapes custody and goes on a rampage across the city to find her...

To quote a recent movie that has been meme’d to death, what a picture!

And what a villain.

Even before he shows up on screen, Wings Hauser dominates Vice Squad - it is his voice which barks out the film's theme song, "Neon Slime".

Directed by Death Line's Gary Sherman, Vice Squad is a cold blast of energy.

While it would be easy to label it exploitation, there is a dead-eyed quality to the presentation that feels less interested in titillation.

Like Sherman’s cannibal opus, Vice Squad feels like a full meal - its blend of social realism, character study, police procedural, suspense thriller, and horror feels seamless.

And while the film is titled after one of the main groups of characters, Vice Squad is more concerned with the dynamic between law enforcement and the people they interact with:

The first character we meet is Princess, suiting up for work and tearfully saying goodbye to her child. And when we meet the titular group, they are always late to the party, and when they do show up, they end up inciting the film’s plot.

If this is a police procedural then it is an exercise in showing the failures of policing - all they have done is killed one man. If Princess succeeds in her goals, it will have nothing to do with the Vice Squad.

The film ends on a note of uncertainty - Ramrod is dead but nothing has changed.

While the film is not a docu-drama, the grimy photography and use of real locations gives the film a visceral, lived-in sense of truth. Not reality, but something tactile - where you can almost smell and taste the sweat, the blood, the rust…

The cast are mostly excellent. 

Season Hubley brings a flinty sense of purpose and hard-won wisdom to Princess. We learn almost nothing concrete about her beyond the opening moments, but her performance is a living, breathing document of hardened pragmatism and self-reliance.

Ramrod is absolutely hypnotising - Hauser brings a malevolence and simmering rage which is terrifying. 

His actions are so cartoonish (he grabs a woman while in a car and drives away with her hanging out the window), they should be laughable, but Sherman and Hauser never tip over into caricature - there is a stark contrast between his actions and the camera’s distant perspective. As viewers we are positioned as helpless witnesses to this monster.

The one blank in the cast is Gary Swanson as Tom Walsh, the vice cop.

There is something bland and familiar about this character - an aggressive and righteous white cop. It is a familiar figure from action and thriller movies past and present, played by the likes of Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington, Clint Eastwood and Walter Matthau.

In other movies, this would be the star role - the driving, active force trying to restore order to a chaotic universe. Vice Squad is not interested in myth-making.

While solid in the role,Swanson is not charismatic - it is hard when you are placed against Hubley and Hauser - but I cannot help feeling that is the point.

Walsh thinks he is the hero riding to the rescue - the lack of star power in that role could be read as the film reinforcing his lack of control, his inability to be the centre of the movie.

His anonymity ends up reinforcing the film’s sense of anticlimax - Walsh kills Ramrod, but gets nothing from it. Even Princess cannot help but point out how his violence - and by extension, the institution he represents - has accomplished nothing.

Related

Death Line (Raw Meat)

Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan (Rob Hedden, 1989)

After another brush with electricity, Jason (Kane Hodder) is back!

He hitches a ride on a ship which is leaving Crystal Lake and heading upriver(!) to New York City(!!).

Onboard said ship is a graduating class of high school students, including Rennie (Jensen Daggett), a young woman who had a previous encounter with Jason.

As the bodycount grows, will any of them get to see the Big Apple?

Right from the beginning, Jason Takes Manhattan feels like a break from formula - not a major issue with this franchise. One of the joys of long-running series like this is that elements which are assumed to be standbys can come and go.

Jason Takes Manhattan starts in Time Square. Nothing explodes, no title shooting at the screen: just blood-red font.

And in place of the familiar Harry Manfredini score, we get a rock song ("The Darkest Side of the Night" by Metropolis) and an unseen radio DJ who utters some vaguely doom-laden words about the big city. 

While they probably would have changed plans if the movie had broken out, the film feels like an attempt at closing the book on the series. 

The film’s beginning and ending reinforce this sense of closure, taking Jason back to his first appearance as a child spectre haunting the depths of Crystal Lake.

We start with a re-statement of Jason’s origin through more oral story-telling (which allows the filmmakers to fudge any issues of continuity), as some guy on a boat tries to romance his girlfriend. Why anyone would find Jason’s origin a good preamble to sex is anyone’s guess.

And the film ends with Jason restored (through the magic of toxic waste-infused water) to childhood. Even his facial difference is gone - in this film’s version of events, it is a result of underwater damage rather than some kind of impairment.

One could argue that Rennie being an aspiring writer is itself a callback to the series’ first final girl (and Jason’s first victim) Alice (Adrienne King), who was an artist. 

Beyond these ideas, as a series capper, Jason Takes Manhattan is a bit of a damp squib. 

However, on its own terms, as a Friday the 13th film? It is good.

A case of hype overwhelming a movie before its release, Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan is better than its reputation would suggest.

Off the bat, it is easily one of the best looking films in the series  - particularly the scenes onboard the ship.

In fact, I think the film is better when it is on the boat. Jason’s motives for  killing are always tied to the location - people have stumbled into his domain, and they will pay the penalty. There is also an inbuilt tension when you are dealing with a group of characters trapped in a single location.

By this point, tension was not a strength of the series, but putting Jason in a city deflates. 

Once all the characters are wandering around Vancouver back alleys, the film loses tension.

The script is a bit by-the-numbers, with stock, underwritten characters and relationships. 

The acting is unspectacular - Jensen Daggett and Scott Reeves (as her boyfriend Sean) are a little anonymous as the main characters, but they do not have that much to work with.

But compared with the previous instalment, Jason Takes Manhattan is a modest return to form.

While unexceptional in certain respects, the film feels like a tease for something more - when characters are wandering through the bowels of the ship, the film feels more atmospheric and claustrophobic in a way that recalls the earlier instalments. 

But there is another path the film could have taken - every couple of minutes, the film flirts with going more over-the-top: fledgling hair metal star JJ (Saffron Henderson) jamming in the engine room; Jason confronted by a street gang in Times Square; the boxing match on the roof with sports star Julius (V. C. Dupree)...

The film seems to flirt with being more cartoonish, but it is always reined back.

It is not as straight-up a horror experience as Part 2 or 4, it lacks the imagination and dramatic construction of Part 6, and it is not as weird as Parts 3 or 5. But as a slasher set on a boat, with a climax in the big city, Jason Takes Manhattan is solid.

The series would continue in fits and starts, but Manhattan would be the end of the franchise’s golden run. 

It may not ever be my favourite slasher franchise, but as a collective experience, the Paramount run of Friday the 13th is a unique snapshot of low-budget big studio genre filmmaking that may never be replicated.

Related

Friday the 13th

Part II

Part 3D

The Final Chapter

A New Beginning 

Jason Lives

The New Blood

If you are new to this blog, I also co-host a podcast on James Bond, The James Bond Cocktail Hour. 

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