Uncharted (Ruben Fleischer, 2022)

Determined to find his missing brother, Nathan Drake joins treasure hunter Sully (Mark Wahlberg) to find a hidden treasure…

Uncharted is based on a series of video games I have never played. Its greatest flaw is that said video games are inspired by another cinematic franchise, Indiana Jones.

The makers of Uncharted clearly knew this because this movie has been in production for years - so long that Mark Wahlberg aged out of the main role to be cast as Nathan Drake’s mentor, Sully.

I was kind of excited to see this in theatres, but an upswing in COVID cases put the kibosh on that.

It was a good turn of events, because Uncharted feels like a movie made for watching on your laptop.

With the opening minutes, I thought it was going to be fun. We open on our hero (Tom Holland) hanging out the back of a plane, tethered to a massive train of crates (cargo of said plane). 

He struggles to free himself and hang on as he is buffeted by wind. But then he does free himself and then we are treated to our hero bounding from crate to crate like a video game character. 

This is the movie in a nutshell. It wants Nathan Drake to be the scrappy underdog, but it never feels like Holland is in that much danger. Even with what obstacles he does face, it never feels like they are that tough. 

I read that one of the filmmakers’ other key reference points was Jackie Chan, and the way he would improvise his way out of trouble. Chan was always the underdog in his movies, and he would get put through the ringer. He would accomplish amazing stunts, but he would always leave the scene battered and bloodied. 

There are consequences in Chan’s movies, and none in Uncharted.

While there are a few interesting locations and large-scale setpieces, the movie feels really small-scale. This movie was shot in the middle of 2020, which might explain the film’s airless, contained atmosphere but that does not cover the bland screenplay, which gives our cast little to do other than wander from set piece to set piece. 

The more I see of Tom Holland, the less I am convinced that he can anchor a movie by himself. Mark Wahlberg is miscast as Sully - he lacks the gravitas and intellectual heft that the character is intended to have - but when they are in scenes together, Holland disappears.

Tom Holland is on record as wanting to play James Bond, but in terms of auditions for Bond, the people who would fit in a Bond movie are Antonio Banderas and Tati Gabrielle as the villains.

Banderas is not called on to do a lot, but he adds a welcome weight and malice to his scenes. 

Gabrielle is also good - despite the script’s limitations, she adds some welcome venom to some bland dialogue. 

These performers are a small solace.

Uncharted is just forgettable and unoriginal.