Why do I write?

When I started this blog (over a decade ago now), I had no set goals or format in mind.

I just wanted to write.

I had started posting reviews and rankings on Facebook notes.

I cannot remember how I ended up on this site, but at first I just used it as a home base.

I wrote a few new pieces, but most of the posts were copied over from Facebook.

For a few years I did not write much of anything.

I was pre-occupied, first with film school, and then a misguided attempt at law school.

This was 2014.

By the end of that year, I had failed law and was looking forward to absolutely nothing.

It was terrifying.

And then, just by luck, I read a Google alert.

I have no idea what key word triggered it, but the link was to an advert asking for freelance writers for a pop culture website.

I put together some samples from my blog and sent them in.

At the time, I did not think much of it. 

I remember going for a walk and stared at the river near my house. I came back home and there was an email from the editor asking for pitches.

I had never thought of myself as a critic.

Ironic, since I had spent almost a decade writing essays on film through high school and University.

I also loved reading film criticism.

I had been buying Empire magazine for about a decade.

And I ranted about movies to whoever was unlucky enough to be in my orbit.

The high I got from that email was so empowering.

For the next two years, I pitched and wrote feature.

A month or so later, a friend asked me if I wanted to review some local theatre shows.

Suddenly, I had these two avenues where I could use my skills.

I had found my own way into writing semi-professionally.

The money was negligible but it did not matter. I had found my lane.

Not everything I pitched was accepted, but that led me back to this blog.

I decided to use the blog as a testing ground for ideas.

It almost became like going to the gym.

If I am not writing something for someone else, I still need to write.

By 2016, my writing had opened another door.

I was able to use my writing as a portfolio to get into journalism school.

THat year was hectic.

Somehow I managed writing articles with my freelance commitments and increased output to this blog.

I was busy and stressed out, but looking back, it was a great time.

At the end of that year, I got a role in communications at a disability support organisation. 

I was on the way up.

And then the US election happened. 

It felt like the bottom fell out.

I have been following politics for most of my life.

I had tracked the increased radicalisation of the GOP through the Obama era.

Trump’s rise - while ridiculous - felt like a logical endpoint for American politics, and rightwing politics overall.

He was being overt about all the things previous Republicans kept quiet about.

It felt - and continues to feel like - we have entered the end-times.

I believe imagination is best served by hope - and mine took a heavy blow in November, 2016.

Ever since that point in time, I have really struggled with maintaining inspiration and drive.

One of the unspoken mandates I have given myself with this blog is that I publish a minimum of ten posts a month.

While this approach can have an effect on quality, I have kept at it because it forces me to focus, and to write.

Sometimes it feels like a joy - I find the right film that I have a lot to write about. Other times, I am just punching in my time card.

And I will take that - because it keeps me writing. 

Writing has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.

I do not know where it will lead me in the future. Or if this blog will be a stepping stone to something new.

At this point, I do not care.

The only thing that matters is that I keep writing.