Cobra (George Pan Cosmatos, 1986)

An army of slashers is on the prowl through LA, hellbent on creating a perverse new order.

There is only one man standing in their way...

I first watched Cobra late night on TV as a kid.

With its blend of genres and hyperkinetic visuals, it is impossible to forget. 

It might have been the first Stallone vehicle I watched front to back.

A happy accident of a movie, made at the height of Stallone’s power, and with backing of Cannon Group, Cobra is pure hubris.

Stallone and Cannon are a deadly combination - like eating a dozen donuts and a 1.5L of coke at the same time.

A variety of 80s influences converge here - action movies, slashers and MTV.

The emphasizes its soundtrack and the edit so much, stopping the narrative for montage, that the film almost feels like a musical.

Every scene is pushed to its extreme - rapid edits on action, use of neon, never-ending soundtrack, Stallone’s wardrobe and arsenal. 

That sense of extremity is built in to the narrative: 

The world is in chaos and Cobra is the only person capable of restoring order.

So it is basically Dirty Harry on steroids.

The casting of Dirty Harry’s original partner Reni Santoni and nemesis Andy Robinson make that film’s influence clearer.

As the title character, Stallone is a remote figure, hidden behind a costume. He has a few one-liners but they come early. 

Brian Thompson is well cast as his nemesis, and their final battle is terrific - set in that eighties staple, an abandoned but working factory (product? hellfire), it is the perfect hyperbolic close.

All that being said, I have never liked this movie.

It is easy to see why it has been referenced, and its aesthetic so influential, but that is probably the best way to approach it - a mood board of the eighties action film.

If Dirty Harry set the template for Cobra, Stallone’s love letter comes off more like a parody. 

Appropriately, after this edifice to the 80s action hero faltered, 1987 would see the release of Lethal Weapon, ushering in the era of action every-men who would render Stallone a dinosaur.

A relic, but a fascinating one.

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Real Genius (Martha Coolidge, 1985)

When a group of genius university students learn their laser experiments are to be used for a  new military satellite weapon, they have to put their minds together to prevent their work from falling into the wrong hands.

I do not think I will be reviewing many comedies in future.

They tend not to work on me in isolation.

This is an exception.

It is rare to see a major studio movie that challenges the military-industrial complex.

 

To think this came out in the 80s makes it even more singular.

The teens in this movie show no interest in the application of the tech they are working on.

But when they figure out they show no compunction about sabotaging the weapon.

The movie even makes jokes about corruption in military contracts - the film’s villain has been charging the cost of his new home to the project’s budget.

Finishing the weapon is about saving his skin more than anything else.

The film opens with such a different tone: We get a demonstration of the weapon and a debate about the legal and ethical issues involved.

 

One of the committee members pulls out.

And as soon as he leaves the meeting, the chair orders this member’s assassination.

It is not even played for laughs.

The government subplot folds around the teen 20-something hijinks like a burrito, and that set up makes for some more concrete tension in the third act. 

It also adds a layer of suspense to rebel genius Chris’s (Val Kilmer) combative dynamic with antagonist Professor Jerry Hathaway (William Atherton). 

Once we are introduced to teen wunderkind Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret), the film assumes the format familiar to a lot of frat comedies:

Our nerdy hero is introduced to a wiser, wilder mentor in Chris, who tries to teach his charge on the importance of having fun.

Their idealism about their work - and sheer joy in learning - put them on a collision course with Jerry.

I had heard about Real Genius for years. Watching it now made me think about the current lack of mainstream studio comedies.

We do not make comedies like this any more.

I felt this watching Night Shift as well - older comedies seemed to take their dramatic components more seriously (think of the gangster massacre that opens Some Like it Hot). 

Nowadays, so few comedies are made (at least on a mainstream budget level), that films which combine multiple genres are even rarer. The last one I can think of was Game Night. And that was over six years ago.

While the cast are solid, Val Kilmer is the standout.

It is easy to see why he was pegged for movie stardom - and why he struggled in straight leading roles.

He is so singular and anarchic, a benevolent spin on the energy that he would bring to later, more iconic roles. Kilmer can come off a little broad and external, but that works here - Chris’ easy cheer belies a more melancholic, cynical understanding of the field he is working in.

Kilmer’s performance sums up the movie’s merits - and is the vehicle through which it delivers its more subversive intentions.

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BITE-SIZED: The Last Unicorn (Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass, 1982)

The last unicorn (Mia Farrow) goes on a quest to find out what happened to the rest of her kind. 

It feels appropriate to watch this movie in 2025 - a time where hope is in short supply

Here is a movie about rediscovering hope, believing that darkness is not inevitable and can be fought 

I had never heard of The Last Unicorn until a few days ago.

A dive into the crew reveals a murderer's row: Rankin and Bass, the animators who would later form the nucleus of Hayao Miyazaki's team, and Jimmy Webb supplying the melancholy songs and score.

I feel like every other movie I have been watching recently has featured Lew Grade in the credits. This was one of the last forays he made into movies. 

It is a pity it bombed because this movie is kind of great.

While it is aimed at a younger audience, it deals with some dark subjects.

The unicorn’s journey, of learning about love and loss, is infused with a sense of melancholy. 

The passage of time, ageing and death underlie the whole film. 

There is the witch welcoming her end at the hands of a harpy she has caged for years.

And the film ultimately revolves around a heartless tyrant who is so devoid of happiness he feels the need to destroy anything that can inspire this feeling in the world around him.

Featuring a literate script with respect for young viewers' intelligence, striking character design, and a marvellous score by Jim Webb, The Last Unicorn is terrific.

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OUT NOW: Looney Tunes - The Day the World Blew Up (Pete Browngardt, 2025)

Raised as siblings, Daffy and Porky (Eric Bauza) are forced to get jobs when their home is damaged by a UFO.

Said UFO puts all their plans in jeopardy when its occupant (Peter MacNicol) sabotages the local chewing gum factory, infecting the gum with a mind-controlling substance that turns everyone who chews the gum into zombies.

Can our heroes save the day?

I have not watched Looney Tunes since I was a kid.

 

I caught a couple of episodes uploaded to YouTube, and watched Patrick Willem’s video essay on Looney Tunes since the 90s.

That primer put this movie on my radar.

I also felt a certain desire to put my money where my mouth was with regards to the Zaslav regime’s disdain for its library (the other Looney Tunes feature, Coyote v Acme, remains in limbo).

My screening was completely empty so maybe the suits were right to sell it off.

I wanted to like this more.

The key issue is the medium - this is a feature film, not a short subject.

The need to build a narrative structure, with character development, feels antithetical to the anarchy of the characters.

The film is at its strongest when it focuses on set-pieces that play to the characters’ strengths - their bizarre, stylised origin story; a montage covering their attempts at various occupations.

These scenes have clean comic premises that work to their characters’ strengths. 

When the movie forces itself into a story, with our heroes as estranged brothers, it starts to feel less fleet-footed.

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Night Shift (Ron Howard, 1982)

Inspired by his neighbour Belinda (Shelley Long), former stockbroker-turned-morgue attendant Chuck (Henry Winkler) decides to turn the morgue into an escort agency for local sex workers to have a safe space to work in. 

Aided by his new acquaintance Bill "Blaze" Blazejowski (Michael Keaton), Chuck’s new venture is successful - but its growing popularity is only increasing the chance of discovery…

The 80s are the era of the high concept, a one-line premise that is easy to communicate.

I was keen to check out more of Michael Keaton’s movies around the time Goodrich came out so I finally got around to this one.

The premise is wild, but the movie is way weirder than I imagined.

The first half is more of a farce as our strait-laced hero tries to maintain composure in the face of escalating nonsense.

While the film does have some similarities to the raunchy comedies of the time (there is a scene involving a frat party in the morgue), it is far more dramatic and less interested in exploiting its subject.

While it only has one real character, the film seems to want to create a more empathetic portrayal of sex workers.

Despite their innate likeability, our leads are pimps. They do not do anything that sinister - Winkler uses his financial acumen to help the workers build a safety net through financial investments - but it feels like they are holding agency for their employees.

The casting of Winkler and Keaton is a big help in selling the premise, and they share good chemistry.

What also helps selling the premise is Shelley Long - she is a standout as sex worker Belinda. In a film that veers toward cartoonish extremes, she provides a warmth and hard-won wisdom that gives the specificity and humanity that the film needs.

As the film progresses, it segues into more of a drama. This a result of the story rather than a lack of gags - our heroes find themselves on the run from a pair of dirty cops unhappy that they are not getting their cut.

Introduced early with a grisly murder, these antagonists are not played for laughs, and present a looming threat throughout the runtime.

What is fascinating watching the film from a contemporary perspective is how it commits to its dramatic elements.

There is a grim sense of verisimilitude to the miss-en-scene: dinge-y, claustrophobic apartments, and smokey, grime-y streets. This is a world the characters want to escape from.

An interesting film - not as funny as the casting implies, but pretty involving. 

If you are new to this blog, I also co-host a podcast on James Bond, The James Bond Cocktail Hour. 

You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you enjoy something I wrote, and want to support my writing, here’s a link for tips!